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Když nás nezlikviduje Covid, zlikvidujeme se sami

Když nás nezlikviduje Covid, zlikvidujeme se sami

Nějak už nedávám současná opatření. Trvá to příliš dlouho a světlo na konci tunelu v nedohlednu. Už skoro rok, pouze s pár přestávkami, jsme izolovaní doma a začíná nám z toho solidně hrabat. Celá rodina na sebe máme už pořádnou ponorku a utéct není kam.

Já pracuji na HO, máme dvě děti na druhém stupni ZŠ, manžel byl zaměstnán ve službách a je bez práce. Bere, co se dá, příležitostné brigády ve skladech apod., ale je z té nejistoty už pořádně vydepaný. V průběhu ledna se rozhodl, že kašle na brigády a na to, kdy se opatření rozvolní a začal si hledat práci na hlavní pracovní poměr. Rozeslal svůj životopis na všechny profese, které by přicházely v úvahu a nacházejí se v dostupné vzdálenosti. Nepřišla mu ani jedna odpověď, nic. Z některé firmy poslali aspoň ten automatický mejl, že děkují za zájem a případně se ozvou. Asi vám nemusím říkat, že je z toho chlap úplně v háji. Není líný, je zvyklý makat a otáčet se a teď je v pozici, kdy má škemrat o práci. Ty brigády ho samozřejmě moc neuspokojují, dělá to čistě kvůli penězům, aspoň něco tam vydělá. Ale je to nejistota, stává se, že mu večer zavolají, aby následující dva dny nechodil.

Já jsem doma, do kanceláře chodím na pár hodin jen jednou v týdnu. Už je to k nepřežití. Děti jsou střídavě na zabití a střídavě v nějaké apatii, kolikrát je přistihnu, jak jen leží na posteli a čumí do blba. Oba dva dělali sport, dcera atletiku a syn fotbal. K tomu měli každý ještě další kroužek. Nic z toho už dlouho nefunguje. Jsou zalezlí doma a jdou si zákonitě na nervy.

Ještě na podzim a kolem Vánoc jsem to psychicky nějak dávala, snažila jsem se jim věnovat, vymýšleli jsme zábavu, občas vyjeli někam za město do lesa, abychom se vyvětrali. Ale už mi to nějak nejde. Mám pocit, že všechno a všichni visí na mně. Já mám zajišťovat komplet chod domácnosti, já jim mám poskytovat podporu a pochopení. Všem, dětem i manželovi. A už se mi na to nějak nedostává sil.

Jdeme si doma na nervy šíleně. Manžel v totální depresi, že pořádně nevydělává a tím pádem nezabezpečuje rodinu, děti z té dlouhodobé izolace a nemožnosti se někde vybít, já z toho, jak každý den vařím, uklízím, peru, rovnám ty dva puboše do latě, koukám na jejich otočené obličeje a poslouchám jejich ustavičné hádky. Když je donutím něco doma dělat, tak vším třískají a dávají najevo, jak je to obtěžuje.

Vlastně ani nevím, proč to píšu, asi mi nikdo neporadí, myslím, že mnoho z nás je na tom stejně nebo podobně. Je mi z toho všeho nějak hodně ouvej. Mám pocit, že se mi moje rodina nějak vzdaluje, už na ně nemám sílu, nejraději bych někam zdrhla. Ale není kam.

Jak snášíte současná omezení vy? Třeba u vás najdu nějakou inspiraci. Já jsem totiž nějaká úplně vyhořelá.

Zuza


7.2.2021   Rubrika:   |   Komentářů 155   |   Vytisknout

Hodnocení článku: 3/5   Oznámkovat (hodnocení jako ve škole): 1   2   3   4   5  

 

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