Svatbu nechce, ale děti mají mít příjmení po něm
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Žijeme s přítelem spolu pět let, máme dvě děti, tříletou holčičku a ročního syna. Svatbu jsme neměli, protože přítel ji považuje za zbytečnou. Já se vdávat chtěla, ale nepodařilo se mi ho přesvědčit. Tak jsem na něj přestala tlačit, řekla si, že jinak je to fajn chlap, s nímž je mi dobře a nebudu to lámat přes koleno. Jediné, co jsem si vymínila bylo, že děti budou mít příjmení po mně.
S tím měl partner tedy docela velký problém, ale já byla v tomto ohledu stejně neoblomná jako on s odmítáním svatby. Řekla jsem mu, že pokud chce, aby měly děti jeho příjmení, vede k tomu jediná cesta, svatba. A pokud trvá na tom, že se ženit nechce, nezbývá mu než respektovat, že děti, které já odnosím a porodím, s nimiž budu na mateřské a chodit po doktorech a všude možně, budou mít stejné příjmení jako já. Trochu kolem toho bylo dusno, ale nakonec to přijal.
Po narození dcery bylo všechno v pořádku, jeho rodiče sice trochu prskali, ale brzy je to přešlo a užívali si vnučku. Když se před rokem narodil syn, tak přítel už od chvíle, kdy jsme z ultrazvuku znali pohlaví, naléhal, aby měl syn příjmení po něm, jako pokračovatel rodu. Odmítla jsem to. Znovu jsem mu zopakovala, že můžeme mít všichni společné příjmení po svatbě, ale pokud je to on, kdo ji odmítá, tak to taky bude on, kdo jako jediný bude z nás čtyř mít to příjmení odlišné, že nevidím, důvod, proč bych to měla být já.
Opravdový problém ale nastal po synově narození s jeho rodiči. Jestliže u vnučky to ještě tak nějak zvládli, u vnuka je to pro ně nepřijatelné. A začali mi dělat peklo. Neustále proti mně brojí, poštvávají svého syna, tlačí na něj, aby se zachoval jako chlap a prosadil pro svého syna jeho příjmení. Zajímavé je, že vhodnost sňatku, když už jsou na světě dvě děti, nějak opomíjejí. Pro ně jsem strůjcem tohoto všeho čistě já, sobecká, přehnaně emancipovaná a nesnášenlivá žena, s níž je jejich syn nešťastný. Kradu mu děti, upírám mu otcovská práva a celkově pro mě nemají vlídné slovo.
Nejhorší je, že já vůbec nevím, jak se zachovat. Nechci k nim jezdit na návštěvu, nechci, aby jezdili oni k nám, ale dost dobře tomu nemůžu zamezit, mám za partnera jejich syna a upírat jim kontakt s vnoučaty taky dost dobře nejde. Tím by trpěly hlavně děti, které za nic nemohou. Zkusila jsem s přítelem na rovinu promluvit na téma svatba, ale bezvýsledně. On je zaseknutý, že v žádném případě a už vůbec ne takhle, že by se cítil do toho chomoutu dotlačený. Řekl mi, že jsem jak umanutá.
Já už dneska vím, že jsem udělala chybu hned v počátku, vůbec jsem s ním děti mít neměla. Místo toho, abychom si užívali rodinu, tak jsme teď rozhádaní jak mezi sebou, tak s jeho rodiči. Není mi vůbec dobře, připadá mi, že jsem tlačená ke zdi a občas uvažuju, že snad těm dětem nechám to příjmení změnit, jen aby byl klid. Jen si nejsem jistá, jestli by tento můj ústupek klid opravdu přinesl.
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