Dá se vydržet ve vztahu bez sexu? Nechce se mnou spát.
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Je mi dvaačtyřicet let, manžel je o šest let starší. Nemáme mezi sebou žádné problémy, v podstatě všechno nám klape, až na jednu věc: náš sexuální život. V posledních dvou letech manželův zájem o milování postupně klesal, až jsme dospěli do fáze, kdy spolu prakticky nespíme.
Jsem z toho moc smutná, chybí mi to. Manžela miluji, máme spolu dvě děti a oba dva se snažíme vytvořit jim hezké zázemí. S mužem se spolu dokážeme bavit o čemkoli, na všech důležitých věcech se shodneme, jakmile ale přijde z mé strany řeč na sex, odmítá se mnou komunikovat.
Už před delší dobou, kdy jsem zaznamenala jeho sníženou potřebu, jsem se snažila zjistit, co za tím může být. Zda nemá nějaké starosti, případně intimní problémy. Prý nic takového, tvrdí, že ho to prostě už nějak nebaví. Ptala jsem se ho, zda není nějaká chyba ve mně, jestli mu něco nezačalo vadit, to prý také ne. Nemám prý na něj naléhat, takhle to zkrátka má a čím víc budu tlačit na pilu, tím víc mu to zprotivím.
Za poslední tři čtvrtě rok jsme spolu spali pouze dvakrát a to jsem ho musela skoro znásilnit. Zajímavé je, že nakonec si to hezky užil, líbilo se mu to, neměl žádné problémy s erekcí či něco takového. Myslela jsem si, že ho to třeba nakopne a začne to vyžadovat častěji, ale nestalo se. Sám od sebe nezačne, už dokonce odmítá i nesexuální tělesný kontakt. Nepohladí mě, nepolíbí, když chci pohladit já jeho, odtáhne se.
Je mi z toho hrozně, protože jinak je to opravdu skvělý chlap. Netuším, co za jeho postojem vězí, protože pro něj jsou hovory na toto téma absolutní tabu. Nic mu není, nemám pátrat, už vůbec ho nemám posílat k žádným doktorům a psychologům, protože není důvod, aby k nim chodil. Když namítnu, že i já mám své potřeby a zda mu jeho postoj připadá vůči mně fér, pokrčí rameny a mlčí. Tak reagoval i na to, když jsem mu jednou v návalu emocí řekla, že si koleduje, abych si našla milence.
Jsem v koncích. Zcela vážně začínám uvažovat, že si někoho čistě na ten sex najdu. Jen nevím, jak bych to ustála. Nikdy jsem nevěrná nebyla, příčí se mi to takhle ho podvádět. Taky mám strach, abych se do případného milence nezamilovala, prý se to ženám často stává, že se jim ty city do toho přimíchají. A já cíťa jsem, vlastně si ani nedokážu představit, jak s někým spím a nic k němu necítím. Nechci ohrožovat naši rodinu, vůči dětem by to nebylo fér.
Jenže co teď? Smířit se s tím, že budu do konce života žít v celibátu? Neporadíte mi, jak na toho mého muže, aby se trochu vzchopil a začal se v tomto ohledu chovat zase jako chlap? Dřív to mohl mít pomalu denně a teď je jak vyhořelej, bez zájmu. Ještě mu není padesát, přece není tak starej. Navíc vím, že problémy se vzrušivostí nemá. Může být prostě jen línej? A je vůbec reálné, aby existoval chlap, který nesouloží, protože je na to línej, ačkoli má doma ženu, která by se milovala ráda?
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