Jak nebýt nesnesitelná tchyně?
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Milé ženy, potřebovala bych vaše rady a zkušenosti. Potýkám se s problémem, kterému jsem se vždycky chtěla vyhnout a zapřísahala se, že nikdy nebudu patřit k nesnesitelným tchyním. Bohužel, sebekriticky musím uznat, že se mi to nějak nedaří.
Je mi třiapadesát let, jsem rozvedená. Mám dva syny a jednu dceru, nejstarší syn se oženil a se svou rodinou bydlí skoro tři sta kilometrů daleko, takže se nevídáme tak často. Díky tomu (asi díky tomu) společně velmi dobře vycházíme, rozumím si i s jeho ženou. Před půl rokem se jim narodila holčička, takže naše setkávání je o to krásnější. Teď jsem je kvůli opatřením už dva měsíce neviděla a moc se mi stýská.
Prostřední syn a dcera, která je nejmladší, bydlí pořád ještě se mnou v našem domě. Syn, je mu šestadvacet, si před rokem našel přítelkyni a začátkem léta mě požádal, jestli by se nemohla přistěhovat k němu, že by spolu rádi žili. Slečně je třiadvacet, oba jsou dospělí, vydělávají, neviděla jsem v tom problém. Dům je velký, dvougenerační, dřív jsme tu bydleli společně s mými rodiči, kteří již nežijí. Po domluvě s dcerou jsme synovi a jeho přítelkyni uvolnili horní patro, kde je plnohodnotná bytová jednotka, a my s dcerou (ještě studuje VŠ) obýváme spodní část domu, kde máme každá svůj pokoj a společný obývák s kuchyní.
Synova slečna se nastěhovala a společně se nahoře zabydleli. Od začátku jsem chtěla, aby fungovali jako samostatná jednotka a byla rozhodnutá se vyvarovat jakýchkoli zásahů do jejich života. Zpočátku nebyl problém, ale postupem času se to začalo nějak kazit. Tím, jak bydlíme v jednom domě, se máme dost na ráně a máme vzájemně přehled, kdo, kdy je doma a tak. Jakmile tady slečna zdomácněla, začala docela dost vystrkovat růžky. Alespoň na můj vkus. Ještě bych chtěla dodat, že po nich nechci žádný nájem, jen aby se podíleli polovinou na placení režií.
Ale zpátky k slečně. Nejdřív to bylo výjimečně - zeptala se, jestli si může pozvat kamarádku, když byl syn v práci, samozřejmě, že jsem nebyla proti. Pak už se ani neptala, a když má syn odpolední nebo noční, minimálně dvakrát v týdnu tady někoho má. Jsou docela hluční, občas se napijou a dělají bordel. Já ráno vstávám do práce, tak jsem je chodila usměrňovat, ale moc to nepomáhalo. Když už mi to přerůstalo přes hlavu, postěžovala jsem si synovi a požádala ho, aby slečně domluvil. Slíbil, udělal, chvíli byl klid, poslední měsíc skoro úplně, asi i kvůli Covidu, ale předevčírem si mladá zase pozvala dvě kamarádky a pařily nahoře skoro do tří do rána.
Navíc mě dost deptá, když je slyším, jak se se synem hádají, ona na něj řve jak pominutá, přijde mi jako hysterka. Vím, že mu pořádně neuvaří, přitom je teď celé dny doma na home office. Snažím se k nim nechodit, ale občas se tomu nedá vyhnout a vidím, v jakém nepořádku a doslova špíně žijí. Syn chodí ušmudlaný, kolikrát to nevydržím a řeknu mu, ať mi dá jeho prádlo na vyprání a taky ho pozvu na jídlo. Ji ne. Pozoruju na sobě, že na jeho slečnu začínám být alergická a vím, že to není správné. Ale nemůžu si pomoci. Mám už problém ji i odpovědět na pozdrav. Nejraději ze všeho bych jí řekla, ať se sbalí a odstěhuje. Ale kvůli synovi to neudělám.
I dcera je z toho už špatná, nesedly si spolu, nemají si co říct a taky jí vadí, jak suverénně se tady slečna chová. Strašně jsem si přála být jednou fajn tchyně, sama jsem si od své zakusila dost, nechtěla jsem být taková. Ale dneska vidím, že to asi nezvládnu.
Už mě i napadlo, že synovi řeknu, ať se odstěhují spolu, že tohle společné bydlení pod jednou střechou nedělá dobrotu, ale nějak se k tomu nemůžu odhodlat. To patro je volné, připadá mi, že bych vlastní dítě vyhazovala z domu.
Co myslíte, že bych měla udělat? Kolikrát, než usnu, si představuju, jak krásně a klidně bychom si tu žili, kdyby tady nebyla ta vetřelkyně. Tak ji totiž vnímám.
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